


Denial (Not Just a River in Egypt)

by ijemanja



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s06e02 Day of the Moon, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-13
Updated: 2011-05-13
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1860201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijemanja/pseuds/ijemanja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving River behind, there's something important that needs to be said. And some other things that don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial (Not Just a River in Egypt)

**Author's Note:**

> Set post-'Day of the Moon'.
> 
> Written before the River/Melody reveal, and contains some hints of Amy/River, sorry.

Something was the matter with Amy.

She was indeterminately pregnant, an either/or situation which had no business being one, and the Doctor had no idea what that was about except that it was a problem, clearly.

A problem that he was going to put aside to sort out later because right now something else was happening that was almost as disturbing and twice as annoying.

The Ponds were kissing. Again. They were always kissing. _Newlyweds._ He was used to it - or usually he was. But just now they were doing it again and something in the Doctor's head buzzed like a swarm of very annoyed insects at the entire situation.

"I kissed her," he said.

Because what was the point in having Ponds at all if they were just going to stand there concerned with their own kissing and not helping him with his?

The Ponds surfaced, and Amy peered at him over Rory's shoulder. "D'you say something?"

"I... kissed her. River. Well, it wasn't my idea, she kissed me, really."

Immediately intrigued, Amy abandoned Rory altogether. That was more like it. "Oh yeah? You and River, eh?"

"She. And... me. There was - it - thing - happened. When I said goodbye to her." He paused, waiting. "Well, what do we think about that?"

"That's nice?" Rory ventured.

"Nice?" Amy scoffed. "How was it? Come on, was it really good? It was really good, wasn't it?"

They were interested, then. Oh, they were interested. Too interested. _He_ wasn't even that interested. "Um, right, never mind, I've just remembered something a lot more important." Had he? Yes, he had. "About eight thousand years from now the Giant Lumpy-Nosed Asteroid Beetles of the outer Farlex sector are about to be raced around a giant obstacle course by riders who happen to be slightly smaller Lumpy-Nosed Asteroid Beetles. Very cool. Very... lumpy. What are we doing sitting around here, then, eh?"

"I bet she's a really good kisser," Amy mused. "Can always tell, got that look about her."

"If we hurry, we'll get there in time to get good seats - close enough to see all the action, far enough back to avoid the mucas - and, if we're lucky, maybe an icy drink." He was still talking, and maybe at some point someone would notice it.

Of course, he wasn't the only one. "I mean I'd kiss her any day," said Amy. "Maybe I will, next time we see her."

"Um, only you can't kiss her," Rory pointed out.

"Oh, you don't mind, do you, Doctor?" she called, peering round from the other side of the console where the Doctor was manically doing things.

Important things. Much more important than the current topic of discussion, which was just getting annoying, now.

"Mind? Mind what? What could I possibly mind? No, what we really need around here is _more humans kissing_ all the time."

"Oh, now don't get your bowtie in a bunch. I can't kiss her, can I?"

"Thank you!" said Rory.

"Mr Kissy-Face over there would get jealous, wouldn't he, if I went and kissed his girlfriend?"

"Ah, no, he most certainly would not!" said Mr Kissy-Face.

Rory frowned. "That's not quite where I was going with that. Husband? You've got one?"

"Yes, dear."

The Doctor stopped the very important thing he was doing in order to really get his point across: "I'm sorry, _Mr Kissy-Face?_ "

"Oooh, Doctor Song," Amy drawled. "Kiss me, you sexy thing you." Smooching noises followed, along with Amy's interpretation of the kissy-face in question.

"That's not even what it was like," the Doctor muttered, glowering at a row of dials and questioning his decision to ever associate with humans, ever. "Anyway, I'm not the jealous type. And - especially 'and', this is the important 'and', mind - _and_ River is not my girlfriend."

Amy popped up at his side suddenly. "Are you sure?"

"You did kiss her," Rory pointed out, smirking a little.

"Well I kiss loads of people. Believe me, I get around, I'm almost universally considered not-bad-looking at all. I mean what's a kiss between... friends? It hardly counted. She kissed me, anyway. I only kissed back slightly, I mean I did a bit, didn't want to be rude. It wasn't even that good a kiss. It was all right. Quite nice, actually, sort of tingly in places. Interesting, definitely. River's an interesting person, I've always thought so. Nice... hair. Very nice hair."

Amy looked at Rory. "How long do you think he's going to babble about only slightly kissing her?"

"Oi, come on, travelling vast distances of time and space for your amusement here, try to focus on what's important, hm?"

"Oh, I am." Amy folded her arms over her chest, hip cocked accusingly. "So, you snogged her: exhibit A. You flirt with her all the time, exhibit B, and you think she's sexy with her big guns and hair and... eyes and things, don't deny it, there's your exhibit C. You like it when she bosses you around, exhibit D, and, the important and, _and_ you like her. Exhibit E." She turned to Rory. "Verdict?"

Rory cleared his throat. "Sorry. Girlfriend."

"She is so your girlfriend."

The Doctor said, "I do not like it when she bosses me around."

"Liar."

He wasn't lying. 'Like' didn't even begin to cover it.

"She's in prison!" he pointed out. "I can't have a girlfriend in prison."

"Maybe they do conjugal visits," Rory said helpfully, then pretended he was fascinated by something on the viewing screen, and very much unaware that the Doctor was glaring at him like that.

Amy, immune to glares, continued the torment, unconcerned. "I don't know, makes it hotter, don't you think? Your old lady's in the slammer. She got any tattoos, you think?"

"I don't know!"

"Ask her to show you next time."

"But then she might. Show me."

"Is he turning red?" Amy asked Rory.

"Maybe blushing means something else for aliens," Rory said. "Er, boredom. Probably boredom? Not embarrassed and sort of, you know, turned on."

"I've made him blush before; trust me, same thing. It's kind of cute."

But the Doctor wasn't listening to them anymore. Suddenly he wasn't even annoyed, and the important Tardis-y things he was doing weren't very important at all. He stopped, his hands going still on the controls.

"Doctor?" Amy said.

He was all hunched over, a physical manifestation of the million or so worried, perplexing thoughts in his head, completely drowning out, for a moment, the persistent hum of the 'I just kissed River' chorus. And it wasn't even about Amy, or the little girl and the Silence, although they were there, too.

"My girlfriend's in prison, and I don't know why," he said.

"Oh." Amy tutted and came and hugged him sideways, resting her chin on his shoulder as she frowned at his ear in sympathy. "Poor Doctor."

"At least it isn't dull?" Rory offered.

It took a moment, but slowly a wide grin crossed the Doctor's face, and he straightened. "Yes."

Well, yes, there was that.

He flicked Amy's ear as he darted around her to go clap Rory's shoulder. Rory, marvellous Rory.

"Oi!" said Amy.

He pointed back at her. "That's for Mr Kissy-Face."

She pouted. "Oh, but it suits you."

"I'll tell you what, you lot, I - well I'm not embarrassed... I _am_ sort of turned on... Only kidding. Sharing is fun. But look, what I am is, I am definitely not bored. Now let's go! Beetles racing in an assortment of sizes! Icy drinks! Here we come!"

"That's the spirit," Amy cheered, as he pulled some levers and turned some knobs and the Tardis signaled their arrival with its familiar, comforting refrain.

Then Amy added, "I should threaten to kiss River more often."

"Please don't," said both the Doctor and Rory at once.

Amy patted her husband's face absently, directing her retort to the Doctor. "You'll just have to get in first, then, won't you, Mr Kissy-Face."

Rolling his eyes, Rory drew her laughing over to the door.

The doctor smiled to himself before following. Anything but dull - anything but that. "Just watch me," he breathed, and headed out into what almost felt like a whole new world.


End file.
